"When I get to the Nursing Home"

by Jack Considine Author of My Silver Diary


I am writing this now, because I may not be able to adequately express my needs when the time comes.


When I get to the nursing home, visit me as often as you can. Every day if possible. I promise you won't have to say much. Your company alone will be comforting. (fights loneliness)


Make sure my room is clean and orderly. Help me make it feel cozy and comfortable. I will need extra storage space and enough of my personal effects to help me feel at home. If you do my laundry, I won't have to label all my clothes and I won't have to replace them so often. (fights helplessness, boredom)


I will need a telephone with an answering machine for when I'm not in my room. If I can write, or if I have trouble hearing, a phone that is also a fax machine or perhaps access to an e-mail account might help me feel closer to you. (fights loneliness, helplessness,and boredom)


I will need a comfortable chair. I don't believe I will be able to sit in a wheelchair all day. They weren't made for napping and my skin may be thin. Check to see that my sheets are clean, that I have enough blankets, and that my mattress is reasonably smooth. I may need suspenders and will certainly need comfortable shoes and slippers. (fights helplessness, pain, discomfort)

When I get to the nursing home, I will need headphones to help block out background noise and to allow me to listen without disturbing others. A good reading light and a magnifier will help if my eyesight is weak. (fights helplessness, boredom, frustration, conflict)

Pay attention to what I am eating. Don't worry about whether the food is hot and tasty. Sometimes it will be and sometimes it won't. Just make sure I'm not eating too many things I'm allergic to, or that otherwise make me sick. Bring me home-cooked, restaurant, and fast-food fare. I will always appreciate clean, fresh fruits and lots of bottled water.(fights helplessness, boredom, loss of appetite)

Give my address and phone number to friends and family and ask them to call or write once in a while. I will write back if I am able and will keep their cards and letters. Bring me newspapers and magazines to help me keep up with my hometown and with the rest of the world. (fights loneliness, helplessness, boredom)

Notice how I seem to be doing. My clothes. My skin. My hair, My vision. My hearing. My teeth. My gait. My toes. My fingers. My appetite. My gut. My weight. My sleep. My nerves. My mood. My level of pain and discomfort. (fights helplessness, despair)

When I get to the nursing home, get me a list of my diagnoses and help me know what I can do to help myself to either heal or at least slow the progression of any and all of my diseases or conditions. Get a list of my medications and what they are used for and tell me about them if I don't already know. (fights boredom, helplessness, errors)

If you discover that my roommate is aggressive, abusive, or otherwise impossible, get me out of my room as fast as you can. I'll move. My roommate won't have to. (fights helplessness, loneliness, conflict, potential for violence)

Take me out and away from the building regularly. Shopping, fishing, a restaurant, a sporting event. Whatever activities you can imagine that might help a person feel alive. At the very least, make sure I get some fresh air and sunlight almost every day. (fights loneliness, boredom, vitamin D deficiency)

If I tell you I'm cold, get me a sweater, a jacket, a blanket, or maybe even a hat and gloves. Don't tell me what the thermometer says. If I tell you I'm cold, it means I'm cold. (fights helplessness, discomfort)

If I seem to be sitting idle most of the time, don't be too quick to blame the home or the activity director. It isn't their job to fulfill me or to make me happy. Regulations and expectations aside, that will be our responsibility. (fights lonelliness, helplessness, boredom)

If you get a call about my behavior, maybe you will know how it was for me when school called to talk about you. Remember that I didn't jump to approve a trial of ativan or seroquel. I know it's easier to give drugs than it is to talk, but I hope you will talk to me first and that you will ask a clinical social worker or psychologist to give it a try as well. (fights loneliness, helplessness, boredom, poly pharmacy, side effects)


When I get to the nursing home, I will need a copy of My Silver Diary and a pen. The staff will be spending most of their time filling out forms, so I would like to have some forms of my own to fill out. (fights loneliness, helplessness, boredom, staff envy, pen envy)

The Author:

Jack Considine, LMSW-ACP is a professional social worker specializing in the field of gerontological mental health. He has a B.A. degree in Social Work from The Pennsylvania State University and a Master of Social Work degree from The University of Houston. Through his work with residents of nursing homes, personal care homes, and assisted living centers, he has come to know how important it is for his clients to have quick and easy access to vital information about themselves, their social support network, and the world in which they live. My Silver Diary was developed as a result of Jack's repeated encounters with this often unmet need, and the apparent lack of a universally available resource for addressing it. It is his hope that My Silver Diary will find its way to its intended audience and that it will, in some small way, contribute to a greater sense of comfort, safety and fulfillment for all who use it.

Author of My Silver Diary